To Mend a Broken Heart

Today in the mail we received a packet from the pediatric surgeon's office. Enclosed was a book titled "To Mend a Broken Heart". This book was written to prepare parents for the surgery ... before and after. It told about the different tubes they will use and where they will be placed. The bypass machine and the possibility of needing a temporary pacemaker afterwards. The amount of time the surgery will take (around 2 hours), part of which is prep-work. And suggestions on how to comfort Claira and help her to not feel scared. I'm always glad to get straight-forward information, but truthfully it makes me anxious.
Tonight I was looking through my calendar, making sure I had everything down and as I looked at April approaching I felt butterflies (butterbies as Evie puts it) in my stomach. Kaylee has really been expressing her feelings alot lately and making sure we all know how unfair this is. She feels jealous and left out ... and why shouldn't she! Most of our attention is going to Claira. Maybe not directly, but our conversations on the phone and to each other are basically about Claira. Madalyn has mentioned several times that she doesn't want me to go to the hospital with Claira. Our whole family is feeling the weight of this. T.J and Chelsea are a little more laid back and yet I can tell when something goes unsaid. All I could do was explain that we're focusing on Claira to make her better so that we can go back to focusing on the whole family again. I hope that's not an unrealistic goal.